It is NOT wise to give a child everything they ask for

WOW, talk about a loaded question! And let me begin with: In ABSOLUTELY NO WAY is it wise to give a child everything they ask for, even if it would not put you in debt! Again, wow, there is just so much loaded into that one!

The first thing is if you start this (espically if you start it early) the situation can spiral out of control quickly! My husband and I are in Merchandising which means we see a lot of behind the scenes things in various retail locations. It is not by chance that these groups are ALL targeting children and teenagers (still children in my opinion but then I am an old fuddy duddy now :) ).

Children today so often never hear the word "No" and then we wonder why they can't behave in school, have so many social problems, and in general are so far out of control that it is scary. If I child never hears the word "No" and gets everything they ask for then nothing will have a value to them.

I have actually seen the debt issue happen with a family member, and now they are suffering greatly for it. They had a very sucessful courier company, that now is not doing so well. Because they never said "No" to their children previously, now the children don't understand the value of anything so they continue to put a huge strain on the parent's relationship by just "expecting" everything to be given to them. Just a couple of examples:

1. Their son is now 18. Last year for Christmas his mother spent over $2000 on him alone. $200 jeans, $350 leather jacket, etc. The son never said Thank you, and even berrated her on the video for her "poor choice of clothing." Keep in mind here that these are all things he had said he "wanted" previously.

2. Their 8 year old daughter came with us to celebrate Caroline's 2nd B-Day. Her mother gave her $75 to make a Build A Bear for Caroline (the mother told us this, the grandmother had the daughter). The daughter made a bear, and then threw such a fit because she needed, "another bear, she ALWAYS got one when she came to the mall" that the grandmother caved and told her she could keep the bear. I was trying to diffuse the situation and asked her how many Build A Bears she had and almost fell out of my chair when she said 60-75! I looked at the grandmother thinking she was kidding, but she wasn't! That is on a low end over $3,000 spent on stuffed animals. Seriously how is that helpful to anyone?

These are just 2 examples of what happens when you don't teach your children the value of what they or you earn. If you give them everything they ask for they will get to the point they don't care that you worked for it, and they will never work for their own, so if you want to start this pattern, plan to die with your debt because it will never stop. You cannot satisfy any need or really any want because they don't know that something is supposed to be satisfied. It is just expected.

Dave Ramsey has a great program on how to teach children the value of money. We are currently using it with our daughter (she is 2), but already has an account, and makes deposits when mom does. Not much, a dollar or two that she has "earned" doing things around the house or change she has found, but it is a start point to show her what to do with money and that it has some value.